Who is in size 14's? This bitch

Recently I have gotten some family pictures taken, so I thought I woudl share with everyone. All I keep hearing is how happy I look and I couldn't agree more. I AM happy. THIS is what it feels like. If I didn't lose another pound I would still die thrilled. That being said, I have been eating like a heifer this past week. I need to get back on track and eat healthy. I have 26 more pounds to go until I reach 100 pounds total lost.

Who's that girl?!

Sorry for the flashed out faces, I haven't quite got the hang of how to take pictures in the mirror, but you get the point:) Smokin' hottie, huh?!

Approaching 4 month post op mark

With my 4 month mark coming up, it's time to get those numbers in. I am proud to say that I have lost 61 pounds in LESS than 4 months. I am feeling great, have unlimited energy, and my confidence is shooting through the roof. I make friends easier and don't feel like I have to be an anti-social shrew. This surgery has changed my life mentally, physically, sexually, and spiritually. It has mended relationships that I wasn't giving my all to and it is giving others the sense that I haven't given up on myself. People have noted that I smile more often and that I seem to be much more of an 'upper' as opposed to my 'everything in life sucks' attitude I had previously. Needless to say, I am loving life, this surgery, and all of the places I am going because of it. Pics to come soon!

NEW MEASUREMENTS!!!

Well now that I am down 45 lbs I figured I would go ahead and do my measurements. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I am with the results! Here they are:
Neck-15.5
Arms-14
Boobs- 39
Waist-43
Butt-42
Thigh-27

With an overall grand total of 34.25 inches lost in 73 days!!! I never thought this would be possible!! I am looking to start P90X and get my work out on!! I pulled out those size 16's today from American Eagle and they fit!! They are even a little loose! I am beyond thrilled, excited, and looking forward to the future! I hope that I can continue to move on the right path. I have the best support team in the world. Thanks for all of the encouragement guys!!

Progress Pictures :)

I dont know if you all can see a difference but there it is, 35 lbs gone. Mentally I feel a lot smaller than I am looking in these pictures, but I know my body will catch up with my mind. I am excited that I am going in the right direction and looking forward to seeing more results!

It's Been A Long Time Comin'

I know it has been a while since I have posted. To update you all, I have hit my 30 pound lost mark!! I couldn't be more excited and I am on a straight and narrow path towards a life of being skinny. Things have been crazy around here. I am gearing up for my first vacation since surgery. I believe it will be like the 'temptation challenges' from the Biggest Loser. We are going to South Carolina to be with the in-laws for a week. With family comes big sit down dinners, going out to celebrate, and drinking. I have had a glass of wine or two here and there within the last week so I know I am good there. I really hope I can control myself when posed with the situation of going out to eat. My biggest fear is getting sick in public. I never quite know how to handle the situation. It always ends up in me looking like an emergency is occuring and then of course everyone has to ask what went wrong. I will do my best to keep positive thoughts in my head and remember the rules.

On to other news, I got a JOB!!! I was just hired as the newest vet technician at a clinic here in Arkansas. I am super excited as I have not worked for 3 years. It will give my daughter the opportunity to gain social skills and give me the chance to have some grown up time. I am also excited about this because I believe it will get me into a routine. Work then gym. I am one of those people that need to have the same schedule everyday to be successful. Being an at home mom/wife kind of just let me do what I want when I wanted it. This job will allow me to just hit the gym on the way home from work and keep a steady schedule. I think only good things can come from this. It will also not allow me to snack all day. I will be posting new pictures of my progress soon. I keep getting compliments that my weight loss is noticed and going well. I love hearing these things as they give me that push and reassurance that I sometimes need. All in all I STILL think this is the best thing I ever did for myself, and I wouldn't change a thing :)

MEASUREMENTS!!!!

As of today- May 9th, 2011- 27 days post op here are my measurements:

Neck 16.25
Arm 16
Boobs 46.5
Waist 44
Booty 44.75
Thigh 24.50

Thats OVER 21 inches lost since my first measurement!!! I am loving my new body so far. I have bought 2 pairs of SHORTS. I haven't worn shorts in over a decade! I have my first post-op appointment tomorrow and I am hoping that the doctor likes the results- I know I do!!

Day 4 Post Op

First off, I just want to say a big thank you to everyone and their well wishes, prayers, and concerns during my hospitalization. Things are going well and the surgery was successful. I am at home with my family now and trying to get around as best as possible. I will go over the hospital process just to tell you a little bit about what happened.

I arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am and was almost immediately brought back into a room with a bed and was instructed to get undressed, put a gown on and get on the bed. An IV was inserted into my arm and the nurse took my vitals. I had to pee in a cup for a false pregnancy confirmation before surgery. At that point I remained on the bed as the anesthesiologist came in and discussed what he would be doing. Shortly after, what I call the magic medicine, was inserted into my IV and I became very care free and drowsy. The last thing I remember before waking up after surgery, was kissing my husband and my daughter goodbye as they were literally wheeling me down to the OR.

I woke up in a haze hearing the nurse booking my room in the hospital-for some reason I wanted to make sure I remembered the room number-627. I kept repeating it over and over again in my head "627,627, Room 627". Of course, it never presented the need to come up ever again but I knew what my room number was! When I fully woke up out of the haze, I instantly wanted to know where my husband and my daughter were. I wanted to see my only family that I have within a 500 mile radius.

Now, I won't discuss EVERY SINGLE detail of my stay in the hospital, but I will say that for whatever reason, I had complications due to an IV infiltration, I was given a shot of toradol and ativan and was told I was going to have a pic line inserted. I beleive it was due to the fact that I was neglected by the nursing staff ( after contacting them several times) for an hour, due to having no fluid in my IV bag. Other than that, things went according to plan.

The first day after getting out of surgery, I was not allowed anything by mouth, no water or ice--NOTHING. The second day I was eased into ice chips-2 tbsp per every half an hour. The third and final day I was put on a clear sugar free liquid diet-2 tbsp every meal time, and then each hour after that. needless say, it is next to nothing. I do not feel hungry in the least though so I am not stressing out about it yet. I am a little sore on my incision sites but other than that I am up and moving around. I am ready for my workouts to begin and the weight to start coming off. I have never been more relieved to say that I am no longer a bandster, I am a gastric bypasser!!!

Pre-Op Appointments

I just got home from my pre-op testing appointments and I have been cleared for surgery! The doctor didn't even say anything about a pre-op diet, so I was kind of pissed. Anyways, I had to show up this morning at the hospital for my meeting with the dietician. She pretty much went over the things I already knew and had dealt with during the lapband process. She was explaining the menu and using measurements in tablespoons-TABLESPOONS!!! She explained that for the first 6 months I will not get much more than 4 tablespoons in at one sitting. Of course I knew this all along, but the moment SHE said it, felt like a slap in the face. I instantly thought 'How in the hell am I going to get everything I want to eat into 4 TABLESPOONS. Back to my addiction. I might as well have thought ' How much crack can I smoke before someone finds me'.

After my dietician appointment I had to go to SPA testing ( if only it were the GOOD spa), where I had to get arterial blood drawn because of sleep apnea, 5 other vials drawn-pregnancy test, one for blood pressure, and who knows what else, as well as an EKG. They gave me 2 bottles of soap and told me to wash with one tonight and one in the morning and they also gave me one of those breathing machine doodads. When I was done there I went over to my doctor's office-where they were running an hour and a half behind- and he went over the surgery and the risks as well as what he would do if he couldn't do the surgery laproscopically, which would be open bypass. He said he was going to do everything to make this happen and he thought I would do great.

In a nutshell, that was my pre-op visit. I have to report to the hospital at 5:30 am tomorrow morning and my surgery is supposed to start at 7:30. My doctor said it would take close to 2 hours to complete since they had to do a band removal as well as the bypass itself. So I guess here it goes, all or nothing, ready or not- I am about to be a gastric bypass patient.
!

Victory

I stepped on the scale yesterday and I was down 7 lbs! I instantly remembered what it felt like to see that number go down, I haven't felt that since I had got the lapband. It was an amazing feeling and it pushed me to go walking last night. Instead of sitting on my ass and watching my husband play basketball, I took my child and myself (stroller and all) and I walked the indoor track at the local gym. I did a mile and a half and I felt great about it. I am wanting to do it more often and I think if I can con my husband into going with me, it will drive me a little bit more. I don't want him to walk with me or anything, but it would be good for him to get back into his gym routine as well. I couldn't help but feel on top of the world when I was walking last night. I woke up this morning to find maybe another pound down- I need to get a digital scale because I cannot see where the red ticker is pointing to on my ancient scale, who knows, I could have lost 30 lbs. Thanks for all of the support from everyone on my facebook to the comments on here, they really do keep the fire under my ass and it let's me know that I am not alone!

Hunger Monster

Well, yesterday was my first day of liquids. I am proud to report Ali=1 Food=0. Don't get me wrong, I was tempted, in everyway possible. I was pretty much fine, until the end of the day. This is normally when I eat the most anyways, but having to smell my husband baking a pizza and then watching him made it worse. I tried everything I could to avoid this situation because I knew that if I wasn't careful, I was going to end up slicing his neck with the very pizza cutter he was using to divide his food. I had ran to the store a little bit earlier to get some tomato soup, and I swear every fast food chain had JUST put their food on the grill because I was smelling every burger, burrito, and chicken breast that was being prepared within a 5 mile radius. I fought it off and for a minute there I couldn't think straight from the scents filling the air. I started yesterday off at 262- only 2 pounds under what I weighed the day I got the lapband surgery. Yesterday was quite the battle. Food has a huge hold over me. I doubted myself in each and everyway possible, I wanted to call and cancel the surgery as soon as the thought of missing Easter dinner entered my head, when I saw my husband able to eat whatever it was that he pleases. I think it is harder being married and having children during this process. It's not like I can tell my family to quit eating, and what is even worse, is that I have to physically feed my child. Of course it is baby food, but you would be wrong if you don't think for a second that I didn't want to dive face first into that jar of mashed up peas. Then my husband asked me to make his pizza. ( Insert eyeroll here) Needless to say, after a few choice words said, it wasn't happeneing. At the end of the day, I did what I was supposed to do and I am proud of myself. I only have 11 days left till surgery and I seriously hope it is all worth it.

Prisoner in my own misery

I feel my chins, ( yes I said CHINS, as in more than one) sit on top of eachother, and I feel them rest on my chest. I feel my 'back boobs' flop every time I walk faster than a snail's pace. My feet get swollen every night as if I am 9 months pregnant and my thighs resemble a kiddie pool filled with cottage cheese. I want to be skinny, but at what risk? While chatting with a good friend of mine, a question was posed. We know our addiction, but what will it take to battle it? Drug addicts can go to rehab, sex addicts usually the same. Is fat camp the answer? How many of those REALLY exist for adults? Through having the band and not telling (many) people I have come to realize that everyone thinks that weight loss surgery is the 'easy' way out. I can be the first to tell you that I wish on everything in the world, that I had a high metabolism and could just work out, and eat right to lose this weight. I can't stress enough how much HARDER weight loss surgery is. I can't tell you how many times I have cried because I can't go out socially and eat with my friends without it being weird. This 'easy way out' is more of a mind fuck than anything. Because I will always see myself as fat. I know that losing so much weight so quick will throw me down a sprial of depression. For being the easy way out, I am willing to risk being borderline NUTSO just so I can wear normal clothes, and feel 'confident', but it really doesn't happen that way does it? Ask any fat person who has lost weight, when they were more confident, fat or skinny. I promise you the results will be surprising. I just have to be prepared and be strong mentally for this surgery. I have to make sure that I am not taking things out on the wrong people due to the side effects this surgery imposes. As I lose the weight, I have to learn how to be comfortable in my new body, and accept the phases of deformation of my body. With that comes the ability to come off of medications. I am currently taking 7 different pills for everything from back problems to insomnia to hypertension, all linked to obesity. I will be able to stop using my CPAP breathing machine and begin to live a normal life. I wont have to be the fat wife with the skinny white husband. We will finally be able to 'match'. Like they say- I am taking the 'easy' way out- and saving my life.I am not here to promote either surgery or even surgery period. What I AM here to do is give you my view on the whole process and how it effects my life. I don't want to scare anyone, but I can tell you that there is NOTHING easy about this surgery or the lifestyle after it.