Preparation/Fears

Tomorrow I go in for my pre-op testing and I will meet with my dietician, to find out my new diet. I will also meet with my doctor and get my labs and ekg done. I am still hesitant to go through with surgery. While I know it is good for my health, I have to think realistically and realize all of what is about to transpire in the next few weeks. Something that I remember from the lapband surgery is my friends and family members becoming the 'food police'. You know, questions like "Are you supposed to have that?" or "Isn't that too much food for you?'' I am going to have to learn again to be patient with others and try to accept the fact that they don't know any better. What is interesting to me though, is that while they are so apt to be the 'food police' they wern't as voluntary doing the pre-op diet with me. Throughout this last week I really took a good look at myself. I love myself for who I am and I would never want to change my personality. I think if it wasn't for the elevated health risks that come with being 'FAT', I would be fairly happy. I already have a wardrobe that I am used to and I am able to eat the food that I love. With this surgery I am going to be giving up a lot. Everything will of course be trial and error, but I will most likely have to give up pasta, bread, sugar, carbonated drinks, cakes, and candy. I most likely won't be able to eat my daughters' first birthday cake and will someday have to explain to her why. At family gatherings or social outtings I will have to obsess about what is being served there, how fast ( or slow) I will have to eat, and who is watching me. With this surgery comes a lot of baggage. It's not just a in and out of the door and I am healed type of surgery. Physically- I may be on my way, but as I have said many times prior, mentally I have a long way to go. I am going to do another measurement tomorrow night ( hopefully something has changed) so that way I can start on my OFFICIAL numbers. I will let you all know what happens tomorrow at my pre-op appointments and I will keep you updated!